This happened a few weeks back after lecture. This happened during the Malay's fasting month, Ramadan. During this period, Malays (exceptions include the sick, elderly..) are not allowed to eat or drink during the day. They can do so only at night.
I was walking with my 2 male project mates after lecture, one Chinese, one Malay. My Chinese friend asked," So what are you guys doing later?". I replied, " I am going to the canteen to eat. You guys want to join me?". My Chinese friend said, " Yes." My Malay friend, who was smiling, suddenly stopped doing so and said," I can't. Because... you know." I said," Oh yeah." Then he said, " I will go off first, see you later", and he walked off. Needless to say, it was an awkward situation.
I did not think it was so bad at first, as I thought Malays cannot eat but they can still drink. When I discovered that they cannot drink, I realised that I was very insensitive. This occurred around 6p.m., so my Malay friend has not been drinking water for more than 10 hours.
I imagine that my Malay friend must be easily irritable at that time due to the lack of food and water for such a long period of time. It was natural for him to act this way, and I understand. It was my mistake for mentioning food in front of him. My Chinese friend knew it was wrong to mention food at that time, but like me at that time, he seems to be not that bothered by that mistake.
Hi Fang Yong!
ReplyDeleteYeah, this scenario always happens as Singapore is a multi-racial country! Even though we are constantly interacting with Malays, I think not many of us actually know the taboos of the Malay culture. What they cannot do/eat during the fasting period is definitely one of them! And not many people actually bothered to find out. However, it is good that we know about the other cultures in Singapore. This can help to prevent intercultural conflicts as much as possible.
Tempting them with food is wrong, but I don't think mentioning food is mistake. Your friend should have been already used to not eating and drinking, by just mentioning food should not have irritated him. Probably he had something else on his mind?
Hi Fong Yong,
ReplyDeleteI experience this situation a few times in Singapore. It also happened during the Ramadan month (I think this situation will only happen during this special month), I was not aware that two Turkish friends are actually Muslims and asked them for lunch after some discussion. They are nice, they smile and explain to me they are fasting and accepted my apology.
This could be due to the atmosphere in Singapore as Hari Raya may seem like a holiday rather than an important festival of the country. We should understand more about the cultural of the other races to avoid such situation from happening again. And just like what Charmian mentioned, I think the Muslims are used to this situation, and will not feel irritated, don’t worry.
Fang Yong, thanks for sharing with us your personal experience in this very concise post.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that it is important to be sensitive to others' needs, be it someone from your own culture or someone from another culture. Having the desire to be more observant, and to consider others' feelings and needs is an important step to achieving good interpersonal and intercultural communication (remember the six seconds' strategies we discussed in class?). I can see you are well on your way, from this personal reflection. Just curious, what was the 'follow up' action after your reflection?