Interpersonal conflict occurs when two or more individuals who must work together fail to share the same views, and have different interests or goals. I am going by this definition I found on the webpage http://www.ehow.com/facts_5552016_types-interpersonal-conflict.html.
The conflict I am going to discuss occurred during my internship in the US recently. It is between me and my supervisor. The conflict is more about me disliking my supervisor for certain things that he did, but not doing much about it. I am quite sure he was not that happy with me too, although he went about his business like nothing was wrong. This is pretty much an unresolved conflict.
When I first came to my internship company, I was quite surprised that what I was promised to do on the internship was very different from what I had to actually do when I got there. However, I was still interested in learning more about everything. Of course, I was not thrilled as I am unable to work on my interest.
The main reason for this conflict occurring is that my supervisor had an unrealistic expectation of my abilities. He told me to do things that only a professional would be expected to do. I said I would try, but not to expect too much of me. I felt that he was not very happy when I told him this. In the end, I managed to do some of the work that he told me to do. Sadly, he was not really impressed with my work. But, he was very impressed with my colleagues’ work (photoshop designs for a website). I was in charge for implementing the functionality of the website. Perhaps my work was not as showy as my colleagues’ work, but I was a little angry that my hard work was not appreciated. I have to tell myself that generally programmers are underappreciated and live with it.
Another reason for this conflict is that my supervisor comes to work late and leaves work early most of the time. When he leaves early, he will sometimes give reasons like he is attending the soccer practice of his son. He is frequently absent for work too, up to 3 days in a row. Perhaps this is an American work culture, or perhaps he is really working outside some of the times he is absent. But this made me less motivated to work for him and his project and I started to focus on my own work instead. He should have at least pretended that he was working outside by saying that he was going for meetings or such.
Since this was a 3 month internship, I did not really care about this “conflict” as I was leaving him anyway. But if I was really working in a company with him, I would tend to resign from that job. I would rather work in a job that would make me do my best for the company. But if I was unable to resign, what would be my possible solutions? How can I work effectively and happily if I have a supervisor like that in future?
In such situation, a direct (verbal) confrontation is unavoidable. You would need to plan in advance so that the chances of resolving the conflict is high.
ReplyDeleteFirst, control your emotions.
Secondly, think about what you want to achieve after the feedback eg.
1. Better working relationship
2. Work that can better utilise your strengths and work around your weaknesses.
3. More appreciation.
4. More work done by boss?
Thirdly, analyse yourself
1. What are your strengths/ weaknesses?
2. Acknowledge your mistakes
Fourthly, analyse your boss
1. Try to understand his viewpoint
Only then, should you approach your boss
1. Ask for ur boss' opinion of your work - Listen to HIS side of the story 1st
2. Then, give YOUR feedback in positive terms eg.
a. I feel that I will be able to contribute more if the work is more aligned to my interests. Give specific examples of how the work assigned is not suitable
3. Explain the consequences eg. if I am unmotivated, I will not be able to deliver as much as I can
4. Invite your boss to solve the problem together.
5. At the conclusion, emphasise on the agreements promised.
Hope this is useful. pls feel free to discuss w/ me
Hi Fang Yong and Yi Han,
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Yi Han pointed out, you need to do some preparation before approaching your boss for a discussion. Some preparation may help you be the one who is leading the talk but not your boss. But do listen to your boss when he speaks.
In addition, you also need to be mentally and emotionally prepared. Mentally prepared means that you have to think what to discuss, how to discuss and where to discuss. I think the venue for a discussion is important to resolve conflict, it should be a neutral place. A neutral place may let both of you feel more comfortable to speak, maybe a conference room.
Be mentally prepared means that you need to control your emotion well. Think about the tone you need to use during the discussion, what gesture is more suitable and your facial expression should complement your speech. Talk in a polite and sincere way, and give response to your boss when he speaks. I think this will lead the discussion to a success.
Hope it helps you.